We cannot obtain happiness by pursing it. It is already within us. Most of us attempt to find it “out there”. The pursuit of happiness assumes that you are looking for it somewhere outside yourself. How can you pursue something that is within you?
Looking outside of yourself for happiness is never going to bear fruit. It is like the person on his hands and knees under a streetlight looking for his keys. Along comes one of his neighbors and joins the search. After 10 minutes, the neighbor asks him, “Are you sure you dropped them here, they don’t seem to be anywhere”. The guy replied “Oh no, I dropped them in my house, but the lights are not working and I cannot see a thing in there, so I thought it would be easier out here!”
It might be easier to look outside of you; however, there is no point looking outside if what we are looking for is inside. Why would you search for something that you already have? Most of us suffer from the “I’ll be happy when syndrome”. You think you will be happy when:
- You are richer
- You weight less
- You have the perfect relationship
- You go on a dream vacation
- You get a larger house
- You get the new car
- You get the college degree
- Your kids are all grown up
- You are retired
- You get the job
- You get the raise
This is backwards. You will not become happy when you get these things. Sure, they may bring you short-lived happiness. You become happy and then you will obtain those things. The pursuit of happiness is actually inhibiting you from being happy. This is very important to understand and was a big aha moment in my life. I kept achieving more and more of my goals and became increasingly unhappy. This shift in thinking has made a big difference in my life.
If you base your happiness on situations, events or things, you will only be happy when those situations, events or things go your way. What happens when you lose any of these things or they no longer hold any interest? Look within yourself to be happy.
Life is about the journey, not the destination. How many of you often say you cannot wait until the weekend…until Christmas…until tomorrow? Are we wishing our lives away?
Be happy right now–why wait until the weekend!
If you have things in your life that are not going the way you want, it is important to find a way to feel happy regardless in order to change these circumstances. Do this instead of changing the circumstance in order to feel happy.
The most awesome thing about being happy is just how simple it is. We do not have to go somewhere or get something to have it. It is the minor things–a touch, a laugh, a song, a sunrise, or a kind word that brings the greatest joy.
A happy life is stringing many of these small moments together.
If you want to know how to achieve happiness, just decide to be happy in this moment.
Formerly an IS Consultant designing and implementing global enterprise solutions for Fortune 500 organizations, Rachel Lavern is a Certified LifeSuccess Coach and a business partner of Bob Proctor. She specializes in using success principles to help people live without limits via workshops and keynote speeches across the country. Her mission is to teach women entrepreneurs and business owners wanting to earn a six- or seven-figure income how to become WILDLY SUCCESSFUL at selling.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
hi Rachel
your post is real truth of life but no one understand.some peoples have nothing but they are happy and fully enjoyed their life other side some people are this kind they have almost every thing but they not happy because those people are not satisfied.they wants more and more.
The pursuit of happiness is quite undesirable if we want things to make me happy, i fully agree with you …definitely its the simple things that makes us happy. Even we pray to God in pin drop silence we will be happy and our life will be quite peaceful!!! There is no need to spend lots of money on PEACE SUMMIT…if the peace comes, it will come like leaves to a tree, spontaneously…war continuously is just a waste of our valuable time…time is always like money…wasted once ..never comes back..why not think positive and do something useful and make a earth a better place to live?
The house built on sand…
That’s what I always imagine when people say they need that next thing before they can feel good. When the storm comes, the sand won’t hold the house…
Sweet post, Rachel!
Adam recently posted..I’m Pretty Much Almost Kinda Positive Maybe I Can Predict the Future, Definitely
Hi Rachael,
This is an excellent article on the pursuit of happiness. I really think that most people support the assumption that our pursuit of happiness is external and that is why we see people continually trying to fulfill their lives with materialism and entertainment. I’ve learned a long time ago that short term tangible things and short term entertainment is only temporary and never leads to happiness, just the frustrating continued pursuit of emptiness.
Abundance is not your list. For some reason people think if they reach those particular goals, they reach happiness.
We are the designer of our happiness and happiness is found within us. As you stated life is a string of memories and heartfelt moments. Add them up, and we have a happy life. Life should also be simple. Simplicity reduces stress and increases contentment. I think adding balance helps round out the formula.
“The pursuit of happiness assumes that you are looking for it somewhere outside yourself. How can you pursue something that is within you?”
This is the key point of Why Pursuit of Happiness Sucks!
Raena Lynn
Raena Lynn recently posted..Does Attraction Marketing Work?
Hi Raena,
You are right on! So many people cannot tell the difference between fleeting happiness and authentic life satisfaction.
Great post, Rachel! You are so right about the need to have happiness from within. One of the greatest examples of this thought actually comes from the movie Psycho of all places. Early in the movie, a big shot oil tycoon is flashing money for the payment for a house for his daughter. He tells the women who work at the office, “With my money, I’m not so much buying happiness as I’m buying off unhappiness.” Shortly thereafter, Marion Crane takes the money to buy off her unhappiness, and she ends up miserable, and well, if you haven’t seen the movie, I won’t spoil the rest. This is what happens when you try to buy off unhappiness rather than build true happiness.
Steve Nicholas recently posted..Checking Your Pace
Great touching article very artistically written
thanks
http://www.mastercomputech.com
p.s. Do you have any subscription options other than RSS feed? I'd love to connect with you on Twitter or subscribe via email.
I would love to connect with you Chrysta. I am @RachelLavern on Twitter. There is a box in the second column of this blog (just above the Scribd logo) to sign up for email subscriptions. Just makes me think that I should redesign my page to make it stand out more
Great article and I couldn't agree more.
Happiness is a way of life I choose to practice. It doesn't come from what's going on outside, it comes from what's going on inside.
There will always be things I don't like about my situation, just as there always will be things I do like about my situation. I choose to focus on the things I do like, and make the most of them.
Well said Chrysta! Isn’t this where non-resistance is so important? We do not argue with reality. What is, is.
Your article is right on point. Most of us do set our eye upon something and thing it will make us happy when we obtain it. I was once told to ask myself "what would I regret if I knew I was going to die in a week" to refocus. Is that a question you recommend that we ask?
Yes, that one of the questions that I often ask clients. Many people have regrets upon realizing that their life is coming to an end. Oftentimes it is too late for them to go back and change the things they missed out on. They would have lived their lives completely differently if they had the chance.
Grab a notepad and write your answer because studies prove that writing is more effective than simply making a mental note.
You are exactly correct here. Out there and someday never happens. I am happiest when I am living the life that I choose to live doing the things that I want to and being the person that I choose to be.
Justin | Coaching recently posted..How To Make Goal Setting Fun And Useful
Justin, it is great that you have a clear idea of what you want. I encounter so many people who do not ask themselves the right questions that will help them to understand themselves better and possibly provide insight on what might be holding them back from being happy and pursuing their passions.